Barnyard Battle Enthusiasts Gifts

Judgement

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

A Cow Striptease

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'No. I insist. You first.'

"be-be-be-be"

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

Psst! Stay in character!

Cow being clamped for milk.

Oh you baad bad girl!

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

"I believe in eggs, and I think that you all believe in eggs, too!"

A frightened woman running from a cow.

'The main difference between small animal surgery and large animal surgery...'

'Be honest. Do I have ugly feet?'

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

Farmer tries to plug his lawn mower into a pig.

"Time change or no time change, I'm gonna crow when I crow."

'I know you've heard about how we roosters get around, but believe me, I'm a one-chicken guy.'