Barn Aficionado Gifts

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"Oh, I was looking for something with a little more hay."

'You can stop worrying about your husband Mrs.Dellrow...He's going to be fine,now that we have him in a stable condition.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

No Soliciting

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

A Cow Striptease

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

Last Chance For Reality

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"You're talking politics? Take it outside or online, but not here!"

'How about a nice saloon?'

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

Olden Day Battle of the Bands (Bard vs Sonnet).

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

"You know, I think the novelty of living in a converted Barn is starting to wear off."

Victorian woman at a bar.

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

When Cows Discovered Mowers

The Double-Negative Bar & Grille. Not Unhappy Hour 5-6.

'Oh, and if a Farmer John calls, I'm not here.'

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

Directions to the Bar.

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

"All drinks are half-priced during happy hour. . . but only if you can prove you're happy."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'