Barn Life Aficionado Gifts

"So he led me to water and I took a big long drink just to wipe that smug grin off his face."

Bubble Gum Farms.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

"Ever eat a bird?"

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

A Cow Striptease

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

Lasso

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

'You can stop worrying about your husband Mrs.Dellrow...He's going to be fine,now that we have him in a stable condition.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"You know, I think the novelty of living in a converted Barn is starting to wear off."

Down On the Farm

When Cows Discovered Mowers

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

'Abandon Sheep.'

"It's from the cows! They're home and want in!"

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

Oh you baad bad girl!

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

Fried Chicken.

Cow being clamped for milk.

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'