Barn Life Lover Gifts

'So help me Francine, if he doesn't warm his hands this time, there'll be trouble!'

"Ever eat a bird?"

'Eggs did come before chickens!'

Lamb Noise.

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

Lasso

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'If you're not doing anything, come on over and we'll shoot the bull!'

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

Ranch Dressing

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

"I can't afford to feed you."

"You know, I think the novelty of living in a converted Barn is starting to wear off."

Down On the Farm

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'Bloomin rare breeds.'

'I love you guys!'

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

Maternity ward on the farm.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

COW. JUST COW.

Fresh Pears / Ripe Plums / Juicy Gossip

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

"I stink... therefore, I am."

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"The only downside to free-range is I can't get a Wi-Fi signal out here."

'Abandon Sheep.'

'Those Texas Longhorns are sure good mothers, Doc.'