Barn Enthusiast Gifts

The Attorney Barn

'Obesity is epidemic, thank heaven.'

'Well, I can see ADVANTAGES in this kind of barn, and I can see DISADVANTAGES.'

'Do you know a good way to stop a horse from chewing wood?'

Warning: Not giving milk is hazardous to your health.

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

No Soliciting

"Ever eat a bird?"

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

A Cow Striptease

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

'I had no idea there were so many types of dog treats.'

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

A day in the life of a dog.

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Actually, mine is a useless hunter, but we both love wandering idly in the woods...'

"Hey, you two, get a barn!"

'You can stop worrying about your husband Mrs.Dellrow...He's going to be fine,now that we have him in a stable condition.'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

"You know, I think the novelty of living in a converted Barn is starting to wear off."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"I think he's lost."

'Bloomin rare breeds.'