Barrel Aficionado Gifts

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"This barrel holds enough wine to fill 300 bottles, or my Uncle Hal -- who is standing...right...behind...me..."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

No Soliciting

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Hey, you gotta put that away- this is a laptopless bar."

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

Last Chance For Reality

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

"You're talking politics? Take it outside or online, but not here!"

The Lawman

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

'How about a nice saloon?'

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

"I'm surprised at you, Ted. You know we're not allowed to serve alcoholic beverages to dogs."

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

Ostrich Bar

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

'Looks like that pheasant got into the sticker bushes.'

'My programmer doesn't understand me.'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"