Barrel Humor Aficionado Gifts

"No, it's not some new wearable tech."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

Virtual Lap Dancing

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

'It was still pitch black when I left for work: I picked my son's toy barrel instead of mine...'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

'How about I leave the last splinter in? It'll be a good reminder to not take things literally, at your next barrel tasting.'

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

'Who was that Chad?' 'Ahh, just an old flame of mine.' Two candles at the bar talking about the flame walking out the door

Lab rat at bar after work: 'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

'Hell, no, I don't want any sake.'

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

'Dad, the wine's been put into used barrels, just like you ordered. I got a great deal on them from Exxon.'

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

"Leave the toilet."

One more please.

"I should give myself up... I'm a bad habit!"

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'