Barrel Humor Aficionado Pillows

"No, it's not some new wearable tech."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

Complementary Beverages

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"So who ordered the 'Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum on a dead mans chest'?"

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

'These drinks have been watered down.'

'Did you or did you not tell me to collect EVERYBODY'S glasses?'

"I feel like I've just been played my whole life."

'It was still pitch black when I left for work: I picked my son's toy barrel instead of mine...'

Virtual Lap Dancing

'Who was that Chad?' 'Ahh, just an old flame of mine.' Two candles at the bar talking about the flame walking out the door

'How about I leave the last splinter in? It'll be a good reminder to not take things literally, at your next barrel tasting.'

This beer has given me the courage to invite you back to my place. This wine has given me the courage to invite you to drop dead.

"Let's have some fun, guys -- Let's walk into a bar."

"If that's the chief medical officer I'm not here."

Bar, My dog doesn't understand me.

"I couldn't help overhearing what you ladies said about all the chlorine in the toilet water, and I could not agree more."

Lab rat at bar after work: 'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

"Leave the toilet."

One more please.

'Dad, the wine's been put into used barrels, just like you ordered. I got a great deal on them from Exxon.'

'I'm glad you credit my Martinis for helping you break out of your cocoon, but I'm still cutting you off.'

"...And then I forgot where I put my memory stick!"

I'm used to seeing crocodile tears when I tell off a man in this bar, but this is the first time I've seen crocodile exclamation points. ! !

'My beer's not cloudy. The glasses are dirty.'

'I'm sorry, boss, but you tell them to leave.'

What's grey, has four legs and a trunk?

All I'm sayin is let he who has not driven naked and stoned cast the first stone...