Barrel Tasting Aficionado Gifts

'How about I leave the last splinter in? It'll be a good reminder to not take things literally, at your next barrel tasting.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

Wanna talk about it?

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

"Oh yes,decidedly hoppy."

"Scotch and water, *hic* scotch and water..."

'It was still pitch black when I left for work: I picked my son's toy barrel instead of mine...'

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

Joe's Bar, Get the Full Beer Experience.

I'm going to hate myself in the morning, but I hate everything in the morning.

Doctors at 'St. Bernard Hospital' wearing kegs.

'Water is a valuable good and we should use it sparingly. That's why I'd like my Scotch straight.'

"Old Martini Had A Farm"

'There is no more beach due to the phenomenal success of our beach in a bottle souvenir.'

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"I've got sea mail."

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'

'For heaven's sale, man, we're drinkies, not foodies!'

'Leonard never puts off till tomorrow what he can drink today.'

'Our clientele is middle class; you know, your average Joe-750ml.'

'Dad, the wine's been put into used barrels, just like you ordered. I got a great deal on them from Exxon.'

"Did you manage to get the lid off the brandy, Alex?"

'Milking' the Wine Barrel.

The Whisky Ring Scandal Surfaces

One more please.

"It's disappointing, but if that's the biggest you've got ..."

"I say we should admit him to our order. He's devout, humble, and he has an amazing secret formula for peach brandy."

'My mother WARNED me not to marry a Bourbon!'