Barkside Storyteller Gifts

"Yeah, that Bernice...she's got her nose in everybody's business."

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Another slander suit!"

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

Pavement Artist

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

Mega Construction Company: Paving Paradise and Putting Up Parking Lots for Over 50 Years. Deal with it.

'What! No garnish or side salad?'

"Still a freelance journalist?"

"This is nothing. You should have been with us last year at Fifty-third and Lex."

New York City, the Bronx, and another successful Vice Squad raid comes to wraps (real vices used for arresting criminals).

"Is that true love or what? My masters are vegetarians, but they still buy me juicy bones..."

John Updike.

Making Things Pleasant.

'It's a rags-to- riches story. You should take the company tour.'

I Spoke Out On The Issues - Please Help.

Fairy narratives

He used to be a cat person, but he went over to the "bark side."

'I know you live a life of quiet desperation -- you never shut up about it!'

A teacher with a TV for a head reads a book to their students.

Superhero Selfie

"Of course, all the good ones are fixed."

Mark and Gwyneth had a dark secret. At night, once the curtains were closed to the suburban world outside, the facade they put up to the neighbours was revealed to be 100 genuine...they were totally boring.

The clock-side in the chimney-corner

Did you know that suburban white males have over 100 words for lawn?

"I have a female landlubber in every port."

"He's my personal trainer."

I can sum up the performance of my horse in one word...Last!