Sidewalk Storyteller Gifts

Pavement Artist

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

'Gee, Grandpa, you sure have a way with animals.'

Sidewalk Ballet

Punch&Judy/Counselling

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

Fisherman's catch getting it's revenge

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

"Lemonade" "Vodka"

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

"This next one's a sad little number I call, 'I left my guitar on the F train.'"

Making Things Pleasant.

"Still a freelance journalist?"

"This is nothing. You should have been with us last year at Fifty-third and Lex."

'If you hold this shell to your ear you can hear the ARRRGH!'

Support your local bookstore

"Daddy, the wave ate my sand castle!"

statue in park: 'Arnold P. Rossiter, a local boy who went to the big city and made it big... and now he's back home, flipping burgers, just like we always said he would.'

I Spoke Out On The Issues - Please Help.

'Give that back!'

Hadleyville Has-Beens

"Hello Billy, how is your mother?"

Sure, she could talk the talk, but couldn't walk the walk, shock the jock, lock the dock or even hawk a little sunblock.

“How was the beach?”