Bark-side Humorist Gifts

"Is that true love or what? My masters are vegetarians, but they still buy me juicy bones..."

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Jurassic Pork.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Yes, one is a dog."

Hats and Food

"Scuba cow"

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

No jay walking.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Hey! There's a hair in my soup!"

'Settle an argument. Which is better incessant barking or meowing?'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'Bird Watching is fun, but it tends to make me salivate...'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"I think I'm beginning to embrace humiliation."

"Did you know he'd joined a squirrel watchers club?"

'Cat job interviews.'

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'