Lakeside Storyteller Gifts

Making Things Pleasant.

Bitchbark Canoe

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Fly Fishing

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"Hey! I've got audio but no visual!"

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

"Trust me, come low tide everyone will want these seats."

'...the really big ones can be found.'

'Gee, Grandpa, you sure have a way with animals.'

Punch&Judy/Counselling

Pavement Artist

"We're a great team, Sash—you with your small and large motor skills, me with my spatial awareness and hand-eye coördination."

A Salmon Lie

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

The Month of June

Fisherman's catch getting it's revenge

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

'Tortoise stampede! But finish your picnic, folks - plenty of time.'

'It must be a milkfish.'

Skating by torchlight on the Serpentine.

"If it gets boring, I can tell you how I borrowed money from the Mob, and how, right now, we;re actually on the run from them."

Desert Island Gossipping

'If you hold this shell to your ear you can hear the ARRRGH!'

statue in park: 'Arnold P. Rossiter, a local boy who went to the big city and made it big... and now he's back home, flipping burgers, just like we always said he would.'

Hadleyville Has-Beens