Barker Buff Gifts

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Pirate

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

French horn.

Appointments and Disappointments

Thoughtful gifts for that special pirate in your life.

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"Gesundtheit, Dear."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

"No, I did not sniff you!"

'Take a picture...it'll last longer.'

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

Doctor to pig: 'You've been pigging out on pan pizzas, eh? I'm taking you off square meals.'

'My client is willing to endure raised eyebrows from the general public for his behaviour.'

"This is a blind audition, right?"

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

Scrooge McCow

A mad scientist.

Arturo Sandoval

'Take it easy, you're a cow. They love cow humor.'