Barking Buff Gifts

A dog barking.

"Bork! Bork!"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Oh Hi!'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Arf! Arf!'

I fart more than that!

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Dog phrenology

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"I yip, therefore I am."

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

Dog in therapy.

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

The Inner Dog.

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

One giant bark for dogkind.

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

'He's barking mad!'