Barking Buff Gifts

A dog barking.

"Bork! Bork!"

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Oh Hi!'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Arf! Arf!'

I fart more than that!

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Dog phrenology

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'Sure, he acts like he's into you now, but, trust me...he's only interested in one thing.'

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"I yip, therefore I am."

Dog in therapy.

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

'Wow, it's busy...I hope we can find a barking spot!'

The Inner Dog.

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

'He's barking mad!'

I know they told me not to bark

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"