Bark Buff Gifts

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

'Its a dogwood tree. I can tell by its bark.'

Frankly, I didn't know you were allowed to do that any more.

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'Oh Hi!'

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Joe's 'Take Responsibility For Your Own Actions' Bar.

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

Dogs

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

I fart more than that!

'I found him on the internet.'

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

Get on with it!

French horn.

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

RIP William Shakespeare: To be or not to be...

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

"I don't like to complain, but this cud is a bit overchewed."

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."