Bar Dwellers Gifts

'I used to have women lined up. Married, unmarried -- it didn't matter. Ah, forget it. Another round. Skim.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Shaken not stirred

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

You have had enough

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

Business As Usual Bar & Grill: 'How's business? 'Don't ask!'

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

'Nothing on the sign says I have to have a person with me.'

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"