Bar Dwellers Gifts

'I used to have women lined up. Married, unmarried -- it didn't matter. Ah, forget it. Another round. Skim.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Shaken not stirred

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

You have had enough

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

Business As Usual Bar & Grill: 'How's business? 'Don't ask!'

"Right, I'd better go...corpses on't pick themselves clean y'know!"

'When I drink, I don't drive my car.'

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

'Nothing on the sign says I have to have a person with me.'

"I used to own a riding school, but business started falling off..."