Bar Life Gifts

'I know you've heard about how we roosters get around, but believe me, I'm a one-chicken guy.'

"And the first question is. . . What the f**k are you looking at. . ??"

Pina Coladas

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

Ostrich Bar

"Do they look tired to you?"

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

Raw Piano Bar

"Thank you, Sir."

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

Beer

'The guy at the next table said he'd have what you're drinking.'

'Propping up the bar again tonight, Sybil?'

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

Joe's Bar: Revenge is a dish best served with cold beer!

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

'If that's my wife, you're not in!...'