Bar Life Pillows

'I know you've heard about how we roosters get around, but believe me, I'm a one-chicken guy.'

"And the first question is. . . What the f**k are you looking at. . ??"

Pina Coladas

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

A mini Kebab take-away and a minibar

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

Ostrich Bar

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

"I'm taking a creative writing class. I turned in my checkbook and got an A."

Our changing neighborhood: new store openings.

'Oy!...Did you spill my pinata!?'

Raw Piano Bar

"Thank you, Sir."

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but 'Joe' wants you to write some napkins for his bar.'

"With other dates I've been on, long walks on the beach seemed like a cliche, but with you it really feels genuine."

'C'mon, Larry - you knew the risks when you promised to be my wingman.'

The Old Dun Cow - Bitter & twisted.

'If that's my wife, you're not in!...'

'Wow!... Look at the personality on her!'

Beer

'The guy at the next table said he'd have what you're drinking.'

Joe's Bar: Revenge is a dish best served with cold beer!

'Propping up the bar again tonight, Sybil?'

"Jim opened a bar in his cubicle. Before you shut it down, keep in mind that company morale has never been higher."

'I'm an economist, but I try not to take myself too seriously.'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'