Bar Pillows

Voodoo Darts. . .

Can you switch to the weather channel, please?

Bartender, there's a fly in my beer. But I'll bet he's happy! Happy Hour 6-7.

'I still have a soft spot for my ex- like quicksand!'

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'No ice.'

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Pina Coladas

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"I think we may be related!"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

Best Before 5th Pint.

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Beers

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

Dolphin friendly tuna

"An everything Martini, please."