Bar Owner Pillows

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

"For the last time - you and your horsie get away from me and stay away!"

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

Caveman turning the wheel into a bar.

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"Come on. If you sell beer, you must sell peanuts."

"I was grand fathered in from the previous establishment."

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

"Make it one for my baby and one more for the road. And while you're at it I'll have one, too."

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"Thanks for getting these printed--but couldn't you think of a snappier slogan?"

"Evenin' gents - what's yer poison..?"

'A pint! Have you got any ID?'

'I like the way you don't say I've had enough.'

'This is a no-frills bar, pal -- You bring your OWN napkins!'

'Did you bring your hard hat? Your wife says you'll need it when you get home.'

Equality Bar

'It's called a 'Catatonic.' It's tonic water and catnip.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

'You'll have to do something about these mood swings, Norman.'

Business As Usual Bar & Grill: 'How's business? 'Don't ask!'

"C'mon, speed it up!"

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

"Why doesn't Ken Burns make a documentary about this?"

"Woof." "I'm going to have to see some identification."

Hamster bartender

"Congratulations! Owing to the responsible way in which you've handled your drinking, the management has increased your limit."

"Yo!" "Hi, guy!" "Yo, guy!"

West Side Saloon: 'Wow! What a Hangover!'

"Damn it, he was a regular."

"I've never been wild about this bar, but it does get you where you want to go."

"What do you have in the way of gateway drinks?"

"He's not here."

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times—Hey! I'm taking to you! It was the best of times..."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"