Pub Owner Pillows

Mine Host.

'He thought the fire alarm was the bell for last orders, and ran towards the bar.'

Dinner at the Jolly Sandboys (opening to Ch 19)

'Bitter.' 'Anything else?' 'Yea - twisted.'

Pump with 'I can't believe it's not bitter'. 'It's our new non-alcoholic beer.'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"I'm all for taking away the darts and giving him back his car keys."

Drink laws.

"The farmer's had the shepherd's pie 'cos the shepherd had the ploughman's..."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Crappy hour.

Police Warning - Happy Hour Ahead

All Day Deals!

'The price of beer must have gone up again.'

'Sorry... We don't serve food here.'

"Alright, I don't want you raising a stink in here like last time!"

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

'Time for one more?'

"I know you're not keen on 'ruddy experts' so Jim here from the The Dog and Paddle will be doing your hip transplant."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Not Michelin - I'm Pub Grub of the Year!' - large grub explains to barman that he is not from the Michelin guide.

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

'Oh well, never let it be said you can't handle your booze!'

'You've had enough.'

Man frowning at a 'French Trawlermen' charity box in pub

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'NEVER stand between a hippo and his watering hole!'

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

'Do I drink to excess? My dear, I drink to ANYTHING!'

'Sorry - We don't serve food'

'...and have one yourself!'

"The last pub in that�s not a restaurant in England"

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."

'...Err...Could I have a straight glass, Landlord?'

Dart player with long darts. 'Look, rules are meant to be broken, aren't they?'