Bar Dweller Gifts

"Wow, interactive people"

"Here comes those birds you pulled last night, stout and bitter."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Shaken not stirred

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"It's really important to me, as an artist, to make you feel like drinking more than usual so I get hired back."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

The Endangered Species: Your Local Pub

"That guy I just met is already texting me pictures of his plumage."

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

'It's the newest thing out. A big screen fish finder.'

Wifi whore

You have had enough

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"The WiFi password is: 'buysomethingorgetout'."

The Bar & Grill of Ordinary Men: Quiet Desperation 11 am - closing (Karaoke on Saturday)

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

A menu with risks and benefits

Damn. Out of quarters again for the Pay Electron Microscope.

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'