Bar Brawl Observer Gifts

With the victim of the bar fight badly in need of blood, a quick-thinking doctor ran an IV line from the plasma screen TV.

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

The Cavern Club - "One for the long and winding road Mr McCartney?"

"The best things in life are free. The rest are married."

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"I'm not whining."

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

"So,... Can I call you?"

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

'Let me guess: you want me to pour you a tall one, right?'

I work for a nonprofit organization. Me, too. I appear in a comic strip.

"If I'm not back at the maze by eight, my wife reels in the damn string."

'Advertising: Don't get me started! I mean what's Phil Collins in a Gorilla suit, got to do with chocolate?'

"Stock photo, right?"

"Careful, Blanch. I think he's up to something."

'I can lick any man in the house!'

'I saw the world in shades of gray once. Boy, did THAT dull my edge!'

'My opinion, right or wrong!'

Cool bulls.