Bar Brawl Aficionado Gifts

'That's the last straw, mister.'

'You better not start anything...'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'If you were a woman I'd punch you on the nose.'

"Welcome to the hard bar quiz. Question number 1: who are you looking at...?"

"It's Bo Beep again, she's completely lost it!"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

"On second thoughts, I'll have it stirred, not shaken."

The Rind of the Ancient Mariner.

"If I had been on 'The Brady Bunch', which I wasn't, I'd have been Greg, whom I ain't"

'This isn't Armageddon... it's a bar brawl on a Saturday night. Let Pestilence read the map.'

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

"But, if I don't peel off the entire label, the label wins."

"I giggle when I laugh." "I pee when I sneeze."

'I think she just whispered those three little words in his ear - Time,Gentlemen,Please!'

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

Raw Piano Bar

Frog and Princess in Bar

Inappropriate horse whispering.

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

"Sooo....my wife and I saw you from across the bar."

"Mmm my, there is just something about a man in footie pajamas."

'Say! You're new here aren't you?'

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"I'm not whining."

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

'Do you know how to make something called 'Casketon the beach?''