Banter Boss Gifts

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

Women trading pick-up lines - How about, Can I throw these out of you?

People who shoot off their mouths never run out of ammo.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.

"You do realise that this position is only for the assistant bootlicker to the CEO?"

'Wilson, I'll need you to make high pitched screeching noises until I get this modem working properly.'

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

'Your 40th? Well maybe if you're talking about the number of cans you've had!'

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

Man swipes friend's drink, saying: 'Thanks Dave, I'll have what you're having.'

"It's the drink talking"

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Sipsies?"

"So,... Can I call you?"

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

"You're only making this harder on yourself, Powell."

'Hey carrot-breath! You still mad cause we ran you a little today? Hounds gotta make a living too, ya know.'

'Job security's not great here so we tend to leave our coats on.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

Special Euro 2020 Menu: Humble Pie

'Her bruxism resulted in a ferine bricole.'