Banter Boss Gifts

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'It started out with lactose, but ow he's intolerant of everything.'

Knock knock. Just whey you thought telemarketing couldn't get any worse.

Women trading pick-up lines - How about, Can I throw these out of you?

People who shoot off their mouths never run out of ammo.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'Why do they call him Neckline Ned.' - 'He's always plunging down the middle but never showing anything.'

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'This isn't a non-profit-making organization you know! Or at least, it wasn't until you started working here!'

"You do realise that this position is only for the assistant bootlicker to the CEO?"

When you talk about my debt to society, I thought that only referred to criminals.

"An open one-to-one environment is what you want, an open one-to-one environment is what you get, Ms Praed."

'Your 40th? Well maybe if you're talking about the number of cans you've had!'

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

"Are you sure? It doesn't look like a diet pill!"

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"It takes me only one drink to get drunk. Its either the seventh or eighth."

'Wilson, I'll need you to make high pitched screeching noises until I get this modem working properly.'

'You dirty, snivelling, low down, arrogant son of a gin-swilling kleptomaniac.'

Department of Unrealistic Dividend Earnings: 'We realize it is an unnecessary department but the acronym was just too cool to shut it down.'

"It's the drink talking"

A breakthrough moment for the Wright brothers. How about some wings with that?

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Sipsies?"

Man swipes friend's drink, saying: 'Thanks Dave, I'll have what you're having.'

"So,... Can I call you?"

'Any chance of a bit of....er...Blue on Blue?'

'Ms. Sims, do a Google search. Find out how many CEO's have more Google citations than me.'

I heard you're going to Mars to star on some reality show. Yep. Mars One. We launch ten years from now. Ten years? You don't have the attention span to wait ten minutes. In ten years, you'll have forgotten all about this. And when that day comes, I will mock and berate you mercilessly. You'll be dead in ten years. Ridiculing you gives me a reason to go on! Being around you gives me a reason to go to Mars.

Menu. How much is that stuff? Read the hash tag.

CartoonStock Upload"You are an all-round good guy!"

"You're only making this harder on yourself, Powell."