Boss Banter Gifts

Man sticking his tongue out at his boss.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

Boss's Desk Says No!

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"Mr. Johnson, Bob is kicking me under the table!"

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

'Great job at today's meeting, Dunwoody. You're finally discovering your own voice as a yes-man!'

"So many take-overs and mergers, nobody remembers who he was."

Of course I always start off by wooing a prospective candidate with talk of stimulating work,great colleagues and a reasonable work life balance...but the winning argument is always when I promise them enough money to choke a rhino.

"The Gross National Product and the Gross Domestic Product are doing okay. It's the Gross Domestic Mojo that's going down the toilet."

'Foster's here, regarding his raise sir. Shall I have him crawl in now, or let him sweat a while?'

'I said I wanted to address the manager shortage -- not a short manager!'

'I think our only choice at this point is to take the next big step.'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"We've met our target on a 25% uplift in sales but that still leaves us 100% bankrupt."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

'We need to boost our earnings by giving our earnings a boost.'

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

'Is that the smell of fear? Or is it just Meatloaf Monday in the cafeteria?'

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

You said you wanted to speak to the chairman of Zapco Steel - I've just realised that's me.

Manager - I don't just manage, I excel!

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'That concludes the annual report, I will now fend off questions from the stockholders.'

"Sir, I have a question that's lunch-related."

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

Well, we've generated enough hot air...it must be time to cram it in a trial balloon and float it.

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"