Boss-employee Banter Lover Gifts

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Trays on desk read, 'Here', 'There' and, 'Neither here nor there.'

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Let's kick off this Human Resource action with a game of Musical Chairs."

Office temperature.

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

"No need to remind me. I'm well aware that I've forgotten completely about you."

At Lego corporate headquarters.

'Your advert didn't say anything about intelligence... it said you wanted a manager!'

"At the end of the day, Maureen, wake me up."

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"It's not backstabbing if I tell our boss how lame you are while you're sitting here, is it?"

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'I'll crunch the numbers and get back to you.'

Pig and chicken asking for milk from cow, who replies: 'Sorry, I already gave at the office.'

'Now, at first glance, this may LOOK like a challenge.'

"Got your e-mail and the answer is yes, I can pass you the stapler."

"We're restructuring - Wednesday moves to Friday, Tuesday becomes Wednesday, Monday stays where it is and Thursday and Friday will be merged with the weekend."

"I'd like you to fly the flag for the company Benson, albeit at half mast..."

Ordnance: 'explode...implode'.

"Before we review our plans for the next quarter, I thought you all may want to keep in mind a little advice from my advisory panel."

' And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"Don't worry, son. Daddy's not even on the bus, let alone the next to be thrown under it."