Banking Insiders Gifts

"When it says "insufficient funds" does it mean me or them...?"

"Such a shame Leon had to rush off so soon after suggesting that we put the customers needs ahead of our own."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'The bank says they're freezing my assets! I don't understand: They've always been frozen...'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

'These are our projected profits as capitalism self-destructs.'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

"We can't all work for Goldman Sachs."

'I was trying to predict future market trends and the computer blew up!'

"You have reached our 800 number. . . . If you are a preferred account, please dial B-I-G-S-H-O-T now. . . . If you are an ordinary account, dial J-O-E-B-L-O-W now. . . . If you have a service complaint, dial G-E-T-L-O-S-T now."

Man about executive: 'Success went to his head. There was plenty of room there.'

"You know how to whistle don't you Steve, you just put your lips together and blow. . . but I wouldn't recommend it."

"Surprisingly, it's not in reverse order."

"Great work on the annual report, John. It's fact-driven, yet delightfully unencumbered by reality!"

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

The institute.

'Would you believe that I lost my job just because the banking regulatory authority said that I'm too greedy??!'

Unleashing the dogs of regulation.

'Offshoring is the future and I'm afraid we've founds a lawyer in Mumbai whose 46% better at being you for half the cost.'

"If the men go on strike, we'll run the plant ourselves. Somewhere find out where it is."

"This won best award show last year."

Medical Group: Specializing In Treating The Insured.

'I would advise against expansion.'

Thumbs Up Banker

Early American Executive Washroom

". . . 5. . . 4. . . 3. . . 2 . . . 1. . . Ok that's enough time infront of the painting. You may go in and see him now."

'On yer bike!'

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

'We'd like to roll over our allowance.'