Insurance Insiders Gifts

Medical Group: Specializing In Treating The Insured.

"Please, give me your insurance card."

"My insurance deductible is like most of my Facebook friends - I've never met it."

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

"I feel that what would really give your next album a major boost would be some kind of well-publicized personal problem."

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

"I got another callback. My agent says it's between me and the guy who's going to get it."

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

"It's part of a deal I worked out with the I.R.S."

'I was trying to predict future market trends and the computer blew up!'

"Your health is so good, I'm going to recommend your insurance company pay you for the privilege of coverage."

"At this point we're no longer testing you. We're testing your insurance."

'I'm sorry, but your surgery is considered to be experimental, so it's not covered by your insurance.'

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

"There's been a medical breakthrough that can help your condition. Unfortunately, you need an insurance breakthrough."

Man about executive: 'Success went to his head. There was plenty of room there.'

'This thing is dangerous! -- invent fire and burn it up!'

'An ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure, but that was before Medicare.'

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

The institute.

'I've decided to recall our latest drug because of one side effect - law suits.'

'Why aren't you guys profiling minorities like other las enforcement agencies?'

"Sorry, I don't need Life Insurance. Do you mind if I ask who does your marketing research?"

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

"This won best award show last year."

"If the men go on strike, we'll run the plant ourselves. Somewhere find out where it is."

'Uh-oh... that sounds ominous.' - *Knock* *Knock* - 'Am I going to die?!' - 'I don't think so.' - 'Then why are you here?' - 'Your life insurance is due for renewal.'

$10 a step at the doctor's office.

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

". . . 5. . . 4. . . 3. . . 2 . . . 1. . . Ok that's enough time infront of the painting. You may go in and see him now."

Early American Executive Washroom

"The tip jar is not for me. It's for the U.S. Budget Deficit."

"It's not a coupons. It's a printout from your health insurer warning you to cut back on the carbs."