Insurance Insider Gifts

'An ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure, but that was before Medicare.'

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

'First we'll do a whole series of tests. With a medical plan as good as yours we're bound to come up with something.'

'From January to May I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

'Don't you realize how irresponsible it is to show up at the emergency room with no insurance? Don't you realize how many people we have to overcharge to make up for this?'

"The doctor didn't find anything wrong with me. Shouldn't he waive the co-pay?"

"Your health is so good, I'm going to recommend your insurance company pay you for the privilege of coverage."

"It's a miracle drug - The miracle part is that your insurance covers it."

Flight Insurance for Angels.

"There's been a medical breakthrough that can help your condition. Unfortunately, you need an insurance breakthrough."

Man in insurance office has two work boxes; "HA, HA!" and "HO, HO!"

Time to re-evaluate your health care insurance plans.

'I give you five years but your insurance company gives you one.'

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

'Looks like the insurance rate has gone up again.'

EOB - Explanation Of Benefits

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

"I have good news if you have insurance. Bad news, if you don't."

He's only seeing patients who have doctor-friendly insurance

"I told 6 auto insurance companies I'm a wreckless driver, and none of them will sell me a policy."

Medical Insurance Claims Dept. I

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

We can't call the doctor, we can't call the nurse, we have to call the lady with the alligator purse.

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"They say that 'laughter is the best medicine', which is great because your health plan doesn't cover the real stuff!"

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"Be afraid my friends...if the government takes over your healthcare, you're going to be left with nothing!"

'The surgery is expensive. We'll have to numb you from the wallet down.'

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."