Insurance Detective Gifts

'Can you get our insurance policy out? I want to check to see if it covers dog bites.'

Akme malpractice insurance machine in hospital

'It says take all this medication - if you can afford it.'

"Goodness! This health care plan is $750 a month! This one is $1200 a month! And this one is $1500 a month!"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

'Crisis'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'This is our Greek debt, this is our Spanish debt, and this is our Portuguese debt...'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"I suppose you're all wondering why I called this meeting today."

IRS Audit Section

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

Food manufacturing industry in a soup.

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'Whose idea was it to use enron as a benchmark?'

'Great, and I'll also need some mirrors.'

'I LOVE the smell of cooked books.'

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"Hi, I'm Bob Darrel. I'm here to perform the audit of your books. Don't mind the vultures. They follow me everywhere."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'When we come back we'll talk to a man who made a fortune on Wall Street and almost got away with it.'

Financial Corruption

"You never saw a tax haven. Now look into this light.

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"How can our Russian affiliate be losing money? I thought that country was out of the red."