Insurance Inquisitor Gifts

'I'm not sure what's worse: Not having health care, or being so far gone I don't care.'

"You've come to me just in time. Your HMO is going to stop covering this."

Archival Warfare

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

'Let's go raise some hell and tell people we support government sponsored health care!'

'The fact that the expenses process is complicated confusing and bureaucratic isn't an Aberration.'

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

'Don't worry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you that throwing a lot of money at it won't cure.'

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

"Sorry, I don't need Life Insurance. Do you mind if I ask who does your marketing research?"

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"Quick! Am I the Independent Counsel or the Special Prosecutor?"

"Your disgust over ballooning healthcare costs is just a natural part of the aging process."

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

'It says take all this medication - if you can afford it.'

"It's not a coupons. It's a printout from your health insurer warning you to cut back on the carbs."

'Do you really think that will protect your intellectual properties?'

'Now I'll show you what turns a $6,000 operation into a $17,000 operation.'

White Collar Crime.

'I understand you cover the deductible?'

Insurance Co. Your right leg? Oh, dear, that's unfortunate.

"I'm sorry, you're not covered for acts of god."

"I said, it's the only hearing-aid covered by your insurance."

"Doctor, could you prescribe something that will help me figure out my part D drug coverage?"

"Goodness! This health care plan is $750 a month! This one is $1200 a month! And this one is $1500 a month!"

"And what made you apply for this job besides our free dental care?"

"I don't dislike you; I dislike your religion."

Summertime Blues