Insurance Inquisitor T-Shirts

'I'm not sure what's worse: Not having health care, or being so far gone I don't care.'

"You've come to me just in time. Your HMO is going to stop covering this."

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

'The fact that the expenses process is complicated confusing and bureaucratic isn't an Aberration.'

'Let's go raise some hell and tell people we support government sponsored health care!'

"According to the insurance company, you don't have a leg to stand on."

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

'Don't worry, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you that throwing a lot of money at it won't cure.'

"The doctor recommends payment in advance. A person in your condition doesn't need to be worried about bills."

"Sorry, I don't need Life Insurance. Do you mind if I ask who does your marketing research?"

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

"Quick! Am I the Independent Counsel or the Special Prosecutor?"

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

'It says take all this medication - if you can afford it.'

"It's not a coupons. It's a printout from your health insurer warning you to cut back on the carbs."

'Do you really think that will protect your intellectual properties?'

'Now I'll show you what turns a $6,000 operation into a $17,000 operation.'

White Collar Crime.

"I'm sorry, you're not covered for acts of god."

'I understand you cover the deductible?'

"Doctor, could you prescribe something that will help me figure out my part D drug coverage?"

"Goodness! This health care plan is $750 a month! This one is $1200 a month! And this one is $1500 a month!"

'I got all woozy reading the restrictions in my health insurance contract!'

"Your disease appears to be drug resistant, so let's see how it responds to intensive billing."

"And what made you apply for this job besides our free dental care?"

"Please press the button for service according to severity of condition."