Investigative Inquisitor T-Shirts

Summertime Blues

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Squeezing the Free Press.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Archival Warfare

"We'd better watch Cranston. He looks like a whistleblower."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Giant pandas doing surveillance in a zoo.

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Quality Control

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Reporter #6: television.

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'