Insurance Rebel Gifts

'Before you know it you'll be out swinging a golf club at your insurance agent.'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"I gotta be me!"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

A souped up car...

"I'm turning into my mother, and it's awesome!"

'I found this bag of salad hidden in the locker room - who's is it?'

"If medical science wants to be really relevant, it would find a way to let me eat all the bacon I want!"

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'Don't worry, she's going to hold the nails.'

'Due to cutbacks on your insurance plan, your visits to Dr. Phil are no longer covered. You'll have to start seeing Physician's Assistant Phil.'

Rogue Traders from Parallel Universes.

'The bottom line: do we wait for the government to approve it as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as a furniture polish?'

'Ok, go! Hurry.!'

"Your health is so good, I'm going to recommend your insurance company pay you for the privilege of coverage."

Resume of Claude Brisketson Composer

Man in bumper car sees traffic cop on bumper-car style motorcycle

"Hey, were it up to me, you'd be here for another few days, but then I'm not your insurance company."

"Ah, summertime! Robert Potts is sitting in for Jim Jensen, who is sitting in for Harry Reasoner, who is sitting in for Walter Cronkite, who is on vacation."

"There's been a medical breakthrough that can help your condition. Unfortunately, you need an insurance breakthrough."

'An ounce of prevention was worth a pound of cure, but that was before Medicare.'

'I understand that you only use your vehicle once a year, Mr. Claus, but you drive over a million miles that night. That's why your premium is so high.'

Driverless Car

When Policy Fails, Try Thinking.