Subscription Rebel Gifts

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"I gotta be me!"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Letters escape from a caged book.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

Pirates at the mall.

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Unabridged Dictionary

'Follow the revolution on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Blogspot,,,'

'In my opinion the series should have stopped after the first 3 books.'

Rugby Player

"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Hell's Schlegel

Hey, Ernie, you're trying on costumes for the Halloween party! No, I'm finding clothes for my job at the store. I need to fit in the Christmas Decorations there. They've been up for weeks. It's too soon! I don't like decorations going up so early! Cupid's another way I could dress for work. The Valentine's Day decorations are going up right now!

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

Citations Needed!

"What do the know!"

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

'...and this is our noisiest model Sir - just right for waking up the neighbours on a Sunday morning.'

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

"It's for a young woman in the generation that knows how to read but doesn't feel like it."

"Every piece of paper you see is here for a reason: I haven't thrown it away."