Subscription Rebel Pillows

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I gotta be me!"

Letters escape from a caged book.

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Pirates at the mall.

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

Rugby Player

'In my opinion the series should have stopped after the first 3 books.'

Unabridged Dictionary

"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."

Hell's Schlegel

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

'Conglomo Corporation: Proud manufacturer of outrageously useless stuff you apparently can't live without.'

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

Citations Needed!

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"Sure, I love the scent of a REAL tree, but nothing beats the convenience of ignoring the holidays altogether."

"What do the know!"

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

'...and this is our noisiest model Sir - just right for waking up the neighbours on a Sunday morning.'

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

"It's for a young woman in the generation that knows how to read but doesn't feel like it."

"Every piece of paper you see is here for a reason: I haven't thrown it away."

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'