Subscription Lover Pillows

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

The birth of junk mail.

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

Respected Professionals

"What's a copper nitrate...?"

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

'I know you needed a career change, Dear, but we were doing so much better when you were an accountant!'

Superhero

NBC Olympic coverage.

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

Time-of-the-month club.

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Why Centrist Democrats Can't Get to Bernie Sanders

Psychiatrist

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

'Tell the doctor I'll be with him in another page and a half.'

'I live in an apartment. Do you have 'Good ApartmentKeeping'?'

'You'll lose all your powers to Brussels.'

Houdini 2019

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

The Black Hole Commission

Woman Gets Taken Away By Hairdryer.

"You know, you're not just cancelling a magazine subscription. You're stabbing print media in the back!"

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

'Antibodies on the Go - An I-Can-Read Medical Book'

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"I'd like to buy your subscription list to check for changes of address."

For the Children