Subscriptions Pillows

'There goes Methuselah again, cackling about all his lifetime subscriptions.'

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

"Hello, I'm calling to cancel my subscription to the Punch-of-the-Month basket."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'

Soup of the month.

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

Wine of the Day Club

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"I'd like to buy your subscription list to check for changes of address."

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"Those cat nap boxes just appear on their porch every week—it's like magic!"

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

"You know very well what subscription forms."

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.

"I love boutique healthcare! I have a great doctor on retainer and I get this great subscription box every month!"

'You're spoiling that squirrel, subscribing to the Nut - of - the - Month Club!'

Larry hits a paywall while reading an eye exam chart.

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, the send me stuff they now I'll like, and they bill me for it."

"I wonder if you'd like to subscribe to a theory."

Refusing to pay for a dating service.