Digital Subscriptions Pillows

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

Maybe I should subscribe to the newspaper again.

Soup of the month.

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

Wine of the Day Club

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

'zzz sleep.'

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Time-of-the-month club.

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

Houdini 2019

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Username/Password

'An E-pamphlet? Seriously?'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

Club of the Month

Internet taking money from a man's pocket

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

Magazine says 'TV: Includes all digital, cable and satellite listings.' Man says: I've just finished reading the TV guide and it's time for bed.'

"Cool! When I'm dead I want to get uploaded to the cloud, too!"

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"So now, you have to become a subscription service."

Paypal Accepted. Coming Soon: Bitcoin!

"So many social security numbers, so little time..."

"The sandbox has WiFi!"

'I want someone who's not only book smart, but kindle smart.'

'Why would I pay you when I can watch you for free on YouTube?'

"Doom scrolling."

Lost in the laptop...