Subscription Collector Pillows

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

The Working Woman's Magazine

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Jazz is Invented

"Nuts to you, too."

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Six jazz instruments.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Waiting Room Quarterly

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

Prayboy

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

Alien Beauty Magazine

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Unusual Offers

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'You shouldn't have.'

Tiny jazz musicians play large drum and bass.

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

The Boss.

On the cover of Sports Illustrated - Envy

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

"Too much club."

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

J.P.Hensmore Superintendent AKA Head Honcho, The Big Guy,The Man, Numero Uno and The Big Cheese.

Kate knew she should be focused on developing her industry knowledge, but she was faced with a critical dilemma.

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."