Mail Collector Pillows

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

I wouldn't mind so much, but it's all junk mail.

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

"I'm away from my desk right now..."

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The birth of junk mail.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Yes, our phones have WIRES attached to them! We're no free-range blabbermouths in this household!'

"Fetch, Ernie, fetch!"

"You get one every time you order something online."

"I wonder what this was for."

'Here's the junk mail.'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"It's a flip phone. I guess we can document this as an ancient, archaeological discovery."

"I'm sorry, I can't assist with this request."

'How old is this vase?'

"I never expected you to pay through the nose."

"Occupant, apartment 5C: Congratulations—you may already have won the all-electric Colonial split-level house of your dreams...."

"Careful, kiddo. A lot a junk mail looks first class."

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'