Banking Buffoonery Lover Gifts

'I said... oh, forget it!'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

Harvest Data Festival

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'Well £60 million is LESS than I'm used to...but now that we've agreed my bonus, what working capital will the Bank have?'

I'm thinking of taking the next step and becoming a snail...what mortgages have you got to offer?

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

'What do you mean overdrawn, I still have 12 cheques left.'

Pied Piper luring money from the bank.

'Hi man, I'd like to open a joint account...'

'Too late. The government beat you to it.'

'But you're the 'Goose that Lays the Golden Egg...'

"Come back later when our computers are back up."

'It's true their security is better here but they don't have overdraft fees.'

'They bounce it off a satellite.'

"He wants to rent a safe deposit box for the winter."

A tiny man living inside an ATM gives away money.

'You mean like a bailout?'

'Wear this on the train, it's better than people knowing you're a banker.'

'Now you've signed all your assets over to the bank, I'm happy to lend you your bus fare home.'

"This charge is for your monthly service fee and this charge is because you didn't have it."