Banking Buffoonery Gifts

Bank. Uh-huh

"Before we discuss your loan, Mr Carlson, perhaps you'd like to spend a few moments with out bank chaplain."

'I thought up the term 'too big to fail'. So where's my bonus?'

'To placate the public, we've done away with the cash bonuses and have found another way to compensate you.'

A man notices the Chase logo has turned into snakes eating themselves."

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'I suppose a loan to send them to summer camp could be called a home improvement loan.'

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

Visit to the Bank Manager, "Marrying my daughter isn't the sort of security I had in mind, Harry!"

Sales chart shows sales going downhill.

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"If a higher interest rate is a sign of a stronger economy, you must think I'm golden."

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'Your mom likes you ... well, heck, that's all we need.'

'I want to open a joint account with the riches man in town. . .'

'Oog decided to become a predatory LENDER.'

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

"The bank has completed the loan application review phase. We're now in the loan denial phase."

'So when I couldn't pay the mortgage, the bank offered me this rescue package!'

"They weren't very friendly when they proscuted me for obtaining loans under false names."

RBS Cash Machine - Cash Available 24/7

'Well £60 million is LESS than I'm used to...but now that we've agreed my bonus, what working capital will the Bank have?'

"How would you describe our business plan for spending these funds?...in 25 word or less?"

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

I'm thinking of taking the next step and becoming a snail...what mortgages have you got to offer?

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

Bank cashpoint reads 'Don't take too much we're having a crisis'.

Forgot My Mother's Maiden Name.

Bank Stress Test

Zork has one of those unbelievable moments of discovery.