Banking Buffoonery Lover Pillows

'I said... oh, forget it!'

Lord Avariss - Captain of Industry

Banker stepping into 'New image' in 'Savings and Loans' office

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

Harvest Data Festival

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"The Bank has returned the rent cheque marked 'Insufficient funds', but it doesn't say whether that's them or us!"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

I'm thinking of taking the next step and becoming a snail...what mortgages have you got to offer?

'Well £60 million is LESS than I'm used to...but now that we've agreed my bonus, what working capital will the Bank have?'

"Collateral? How about I teach you what ties to avoid?"

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'Well, you're the psychic. Why don't you tell me if I'm going to give you any money?'

Pied Piper luring money from the bank.

'Hi man, I'd like to open a joint account...'

'What do you mean overdrawn, I still have 12 cheques left.'

"Come back later when our computers are back up."

"He wants to rent a safe deposit box for the winter."

'Too late. The government beat you to it.'

'They bounce it off a satellite.'

A tiny man living inside an ATM gives away money.

'But you're the 'Goose that Lays the Golden Egg...'

'It's true their security is better here but they don't have overdraft fees.'

'You mean like a bailout?'

'Wear this on the train, it's better than people knowing you're a banker.'

'Now you've signed all your assets over to the bank, I'm happy to lend you your bus fare home.'