Banker Comedy Appreciator Gifts

'Could I have a loan of a cup of sugar please?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

God bless our home equity line of credit.

"Sorry, but you're a loan risk."

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

North Pole.

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

At The Clown Bank.

Secret Identity Theft.

Screw up Assange's finances and I'm closing my accounts.

'I'd like to apply for a job as a predatory lender.'

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

'There's a five dollar discrepancy in my bank balance. Would you mind if I counted the money?'

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'You hold no authority that will allow you passage, and are ignorant of the magic password ... can you at LEAST tell me your mother's maiden name?'

Harvest Data Festival

"Sorry, but we're only accepting deposits at this time."

'A rogue nation robbed the World Bank!'

'Sorry. We've had to close your 'chicken' account ma'am. Everything you write bounces.'

'With all due respect for your horoscope, your loan payment is still due today.'

Full Service ATM: "Do you want fries with that?"

Cashier for Decoration Purposes Only

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

PANIC!

"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."

'I'm afraid you'll have to get this hold-up note initialled at our withdrawals counter.'

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

"Hands up!"

'My hedge fund just got trimmed!'

'You built this with our venture capital. Now we would like our 60%.'

'Sir, the drive-thru window is on the other side of the building.'

'Oh no! They've turned my internet bank into a bar...'

"Once upon a time there was a kind old bank that did not charge its customers a fee."

'Sorry, we don't make loans.'