Bald Humorist Gifts

Express chair. 12 hairs or less.

Combs for the bald.

'According to the tests, you're allergic to your toupee.'

"Well, did it work?"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

"Geez, Gary. How long you been workin' in that garden?"

Operation Chrome Dome.

'You've got dry scalp.'

Bald man with a brush on his head

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

A la recherche des cheveux perdus.

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

Hair club for men.

"The hair on my back - will it go back to my head?"

Comb over club.

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

Whale Pattern Balding,

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

"All I know is there are no do-overs, but there are comb-overs."

Custer's Last Strand

Dad, if there was a hair fairy, you'd be rich."

Look, Joe got a toupee! He's living under an assumed mane!