Baldness Comedian Gifts

"You haven't lost hair, hon. You've just reassigned it."

"In your case it was £5 for a trim and £20 search fee!"

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

"Our Big Hairy Audacious Goal is balding."

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Snail Pattern Balding.

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

Express Barber Chair. 10 Hairs or Less

The barber

Operation Chrome Dome.

Balding gnomes

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Bald man with a brush on his head

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

'Give it to me straight, Doc, what are the chances of a recession?'

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

"Operator, get me my hair!"

"The hair on my back - will it go back to my head?"

"Well, did it work?"

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Comb over club.

"If it weren't for lobby security tapes I wouldn't even know I had a bald spot on the top of my head."

"Excuse Brian, but he's started to lose his hair."

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'

"Lose the rug."