Baldness Humor Gifts

"Operator, get me my hair!"

Bald man with a brush on his head

Dad, if there was a hair fairy, you'd be rich."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

Snail Pattern Balding.

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

The barber

Balding gnomes

Operation Chrome Dome.

'Hey, look. This anti hair loss treatment is finally working. My hair's stopped falling out!'

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

"When it takes longer to wash your face, you're getting bald."

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

There's a zip code on your head. It's mail pattern baldness.

All I know is, your Rogaine's all chewed up, and the cat's been coughing like crazy.

The less celebrated, but still spectacular, combover eagle.

"He's a good boy, but he sheds like crazy."

'Global warming, international terrorism, melting polar ice caps, receding hairline... It's all very worrying.'

"We took a yachting holiday last year, strayed into the Bermuda Triangle, miraculously made it home somehow, but Brian's hair disappeared."

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Comb over club.

"Well, did it work?"

"The hair on my back - will it go back to my head?"

"Good news, we found a plant the cured baldness."

Half full head of hair, half empty head of hair.

Shampoo 'Slaphead and Shoulders'

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'

Man has special three-pronged comb for the three hairs on his head.

"Not too much off the top, Floyd!"

Combs for the bald.

'You can tell when you're getting older when your ears are hairier than your head!'

'Your wife called. She said she found your toupee on the kitchen floor, next to a saucer of milk.'

Furley hair transplant clinic - Christmas tree needles falling out in clinics window.

'I think of my 'bald-patch' as a solar panel for a sex-machine!'